Therapy Doesn’t Have to Be Scary!

Get over your fear of therapy so you can feel better, and scare your self silly this Halloween!

It’s Halloween! Time for Tricks, Treats, and Scary Things!!! But ‘scary’ is only fun when you’re doing it on purpose! Being scared of therapy could be called psychophobia (a fear of things of the mind), but it would be hard to diagnose…because showing up to therapy when you’re afraid of it can take a lot of effort.

So I’m going to share some tried and true tips for any phobia that may work to help you get over any fear of therapy you may have. Because life’s too short to get stuck in fear that holds you back from being your best self, having fulfilling relationships, and overcoming traumatic experiences. Plus, it’s like getting a cheat sheet into other things you might work on in therapy like: anxiety, panic attacks, social phobia, agoraphobia, or even coulrophobia (fear of clowns) or arachnophobia (fear of spiders), or nomophobia (fear of being without your mobile phone).

Ok, I’m teasing a little, but while a little bit of fear can heighten your senses and make horror movies, haunted houses, and spooky costumes fun, any fear (or phobia) that causes you to avoid things, puts you in a state of panic, or makes life unbearable is not worth holding on to!

In therapy you can learn to re-regulate your fear responses to the offending stimuli and help your body and mind know that you are safe so that it doesn’t stop you from living a full life.

Tip 1: You have nothing to fear but fear itself

Franklin D. Roosevelt said it best when he said “There is nothing to fear but fear itself.” Fear is a very valuable tool. It might even be said that you can’t be brave without being afraid, and that those who are afraid, may be more connected and aware of their internal and external worlds than those who are fearless.

But how is fear a tool? Fear lets your body and mind know that something seems “off”. A person who is afraid may go have physical reactions to the fear in addition to fearful thoughts. For example, your skin may get clammy, your hairs may stand up on end, you may start sweating or get an upset stomach, or some people even faint from fear. But fear primarily starts as a thought which stems from a belief that may be deeply rooted in your unconscious or may be a result of a recent or distant event that put that fear into your mind.

So how do you use fear as a tool and get over whatever is keeping you up at night?

Tip 2: Facts can help to calm feelings

Remember when you were little and thought there was a monster under the bed, or in your closet? How did you get over that fear? In addition to “outgrowing” fears, someone may have tried to help you calm your fear through a variety of activities. They may have looked under the bed with you to see that there were not monsters there, they may have opened the closet door and checked that no monsters were there. They may have turned on a night light or left the hall light on so that you could see any monsters coming. They may have given you a blanket or toy with special protective powers to keep the monsters away.

All of these are ways those childhood fears may be calmed, and they can work as adults too. To be less afraid, we need to find some facts that counter the belief or thoughts that the fear is real and a threat. Thinking through your fears rationally, getting a second opinion from someone you trust, and exposing yourself to situations that challenge your fears are all ways you can calm those fearful feelings and find the courage to keep going. These are just some of the tools I use in therapy to help you calm your fears and understand yourself better.

When you are afraid of something take a few moments to check in with yourself and determine if your fear is rational or if it is not. For example, if you are afraid of clowns, try understanding where this fear comes from. What ideas do you have about clowns? What memories do you have with clowns in your personal experience? Are there ways that you can introduce clowns into your life in small ways that will help you create different thoughts and beliefs about them? Try exposing yourself little by little to situations that will help minimize your fear and challenge your beliefs about clowns. If you find that you are unable to do this on your own, or with the help of a loved one or friend, it may be time to get some professional support from a mental health counselor. There’s no reason to go through life terrified of clowns (or anything else) unless you’re doing it for fun!

Tip 3: A little goes a long way

When it comes to “exposure therapy” or introducing yourself to your fear with safety factors in place, a little goes a long way. Don’t start to address your fear by going into the middle of a crowded clown parade; start by looking at pictures of clowns, or watching funny videos of clowns. You want your exposure to be something your system can tolerate and become accustomed to so that your fear will start to lessen bit by bit. What you may find is that by exposing yourself little by little to this material, you will start to feel less strongly about it, and you will start to lessen your physical and mental fear responses to it.

Who knows you may actually start to like what you were once afraid of, and be able to laugh at yourself and the fear you had about whatever it is you were afraid of. Afterall, are you still afraid of the monster under the bed?

Happy Halloween!